Tad Writes

Mr Simon Paul Otter Writes.....

Id like to let you know that i will be attending your next appearance at a garage on the Holloway Rd (Esso or Texaco) (Will they have petrol?) ,

Knowing that you have a Culinary nature what do you recommend for a good pre gig nosh up ! and Afterwards?

Dear Mr. S.P.Otter -

Derv will be on sale [red agricultural fuel only - no VAT duty] behind the venue for 5p a gallon my assistant 'Big Vern' will be standing by a bashed up Ford Trannie [Van] ..... bring yer jerry cans! Fill at your discretion.

Lampshades and mucous

Tad

Dear Tad

Im id like to know how you came to be involved with crunch/nutty boys.

Mr CD Burner New Cross

How did I become involved with the band?

I was one of the founder members in a band called The Riffs who were signed to Link Records in 1989.

Lee & Chris signed to Link to do the 'Crunch!' album and it was suggested to them that they put a band together to promote the material. My name got mentioned so I squeezed in a rehearsal or two in-between paper rounds and the rest as they say is history

Dear Tad

I dont know who to ask,, I have been going out wit a Girl for about 2 years and she still expects me to pay for bedroom relations, am i being unreasonable or do you think im getting my moneys worth !

I M A Mug. Bromley

Getting your moneys' worth?

Well, as my Uncle who used to work over Covent Garden Market would say:

"If you don't want the goods.... don't f*** 'em about!" if it's good enough for him it's good enough for me!

Mind you, leaving ten pence by the door as a 'by you leave' often is the done thing

Dear Tad

I have a desire to take note of all the Numbers from trains passing through Clapham Junction, is this a fad or am i finally a spotter! yours 55789534 form Birmingham

Spotterisms up the junction.

The only way you can truly be denoted as a true spotter is to also know not only all 'BR' rolling stock serial numbers 1969 -date but to also have a red/white flask and to travel by green bus with your face pressed firmly up against the window causing it to steam up. esp. going into town on rainy days. Croydon Tramlink catalogue numbers at present don't count. 'Crunch!' catalogue numbers do though - especially the rare 'Nutty Boys' French 3 track Promo CD circa 1991 which co-incided rather nicely with our gig at the Paris 'L'olympia' and after show impromptu performance at the 'Doors' Film premiere at the world famous 'Moulin Rouge' where Lee dressed up as a coffee table....live on French TV - VHS copy anyone?

Dear Tad

I have seen you many times on various productions how do you keep your boyish looks and charm....any secrets?

Miss spitz (formerly swallows)

Youthful looks?

I keep my youthful looks by drinking a pint of milk which is within 3 days of the sell by date [smelling it first - of course.]

Following by bathing in tub full of flux......followed by a rub down with the Sporting Life and some central heating insulation wool.

TV Make up artists do a wonderful job really, don't they

Dear Tad

Do you have any tips for that embarrassing moment all us lads go through at the newsagents, im sure you know what i mean!

Terry Pervy

Newsagents?

Never use 'em myself... though I understand they still have goldfish in the Gent's at Balham. [gateway to the south]

Dear Tad,

When are Crunch going to release more new material and when are you
going to play in the North East (I can get venue details for you)?

Travis Bickle

Hey Travis.... you talkin' to me? Uh?
New material? Well I know Chris has been working on a new Polyester /
Woosted Wool mix that should be right for the Christmas rush... apart from
that...
Only kidding! there's been talk of venturing into a some studio at some
point - we'll keep you posted!
Gigs in the North East? Anything's a possibility. I'll have to speak with my
agent [Mr. Bond. at Universal Exports]
Best wishes
Tad

MORE TAD Q & A

As the last notes of 'Magic Carpet' rang out for the last time, I don't think any of us expected not to play together again as a band for such a long period of time. Least of all me.

“The New Millennium and other stories”

Believe me - It wasn't planned it just happened that way: I was in the final throws of a film production course, Lee and Chris were on Maddie duty; Louis teaching umpteen school kids before breakfast; Dave working in a recording studios the depths of London’s west end; Steve had moved to Suffolk and continued with life from there; Spider carried on ‘kicking ballistics’ as he always has on different musical explorations.

To bring y’all right up to date: Lee & Chris are still on Maddie duty; Louis is still teaching, Dave’s still in his thermal nuclear protected bunker in London’s west end, Steve’s still enjoying the country life in East Anglia and Spider has already been officially named the ballistic kicker of the new Millennium since coming back from a world tour with Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry. Me? Well, in between doing various sessions with Spider I’m carving out a blossoming Acting career luvvies! The main thing was that during this time in one way or another, we all kept in touch.

After much ‘ho-humming’ and ‘shall we –shan’t we’ decisions at board level a date was set to dip a toe in the water once again. Carefully mind you… minding them crocodiles!

I must at this point say a big thank you to Mr Lee ‘Swanny’ Swandale who has kept the dream alive [not to mention the website!!!] during the past three years, surviving on a diet of stale bread and water [Evian mind you] with the hopes and aspirations of a new ‘site front page’ every couple of months....regular as a dose of All Bran that bloke. Good work fella!

May Day! May Day! Monday, 1^st May 2000: London. Crunch! Rehearsal.

Almost up to full strength [Dave sent his apologies, Steve temporarily unavailable subject to ‘BT’ pulling their fingers out at Directory Enquiry level] we began running through a ‘carefully’ written down set list that Swanny had prepared over Toast and Soldiers that morning.

We had no idea what was on that bit of paper [honest ‘guv] and Swanny called ‘em out blind.

Let’s just say it was like meeting up with old friends again…each song greeted with expletives of such delight as ‘Fuck me! How does that one go?’ and so on. As the crank handle wound up the Crunch! Barrel organ it was time for lift off. Soon it felt like we’d never been away. One by one until the set list was spent. Belting stuff. Sweaty and exhausted we headed off to the four corners of our sprawling Metropolis. It’s kept me going for a couple of weeks I can tell you!.

MESSRS LAZARO AND ANNAN HAVE BEEN TEMPORARILY MARKED DOWN IN THE REGISTER AS ABSENT [THAT’S HONK KONG DAVE AND SEXY STEVE TO Y’ALL!] AND HAVE BEEN REPRIMANDED AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL POSSIBLE

[TOP SHELF-MINE’S A DOUBLE!] ALTHOUGH IT WAS UNFAIR TO EXPECT STEVE TO TRAVEL MILES AND MILES FOR A REHEARSAL. DAVE DID SEND HIS APOLOGIES AFTER ALL.

“Just when you thought it was safe to come out from behind the settee……..”

Amid the scorching sun and the searing blue skies Oof a lazy Sunday afternoon we locked ourselves away again in the sweaty confines of our rehearsal studio

[NOW THAT’S DEDICATION FOR YOU] at our ‘top secret’ location in North London.

Amid appalling train cancellations severe delays on the M25 and taxi cab near misses, today we worked on four new ones:

Overall, it’s been an uplifting couple of weeks in being able to get back into the fold and and knocking out some new ‘uns too! Hopefully, we will be able to announce some gigs soon…..

“The New Millennium and other stories”

May Day! May Day! Monday, 1st May 2000: London. Crunch! Rehearsal.

May Day! May Day! Monday, 1^st May 2000: London. Crunch! Rehearsal.